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Driving Under the Influence…

This 'n' That

11 Oct

…of Brad Paisley.

I picked up the new CD "American Saturday Night" cause I love his new hit "Welcome to the Future" and also another of his famous love songs "Then", and you just know he sits and watches his beautiful wife sleep as he writes these love songs for her.  So as I was driving along nodding my head and tapping my toes, getting a chuckle out of the "Welcome to the Future – Reprise" along starts a song called "No", and well here's the lyrics so you can read em for yourself, perhaps grab a tissue…

On my fifth birthday, I got so upset,

About the brand new bike, that I didn't get.

I'd prayed my heart out, and it didn't seem fair,

I told my grandpa, I guess God doesn't care,

And he just smiled, and said my child,

Make no mistake, every prayer you pray,

gets answered, even though,

sometimes, the answer is no.

Five years later, out behind the shed,

With a stolen pack of grandpa's cigarettes,

I struck a match, and held that first one to my lips,

And prayed to God please let me get away with this,

And through the smoke, I saw grandpa standing there.

Make no mistake, every prayer you pray,

gets answered, even though,

sometimes, the answer is no.

When I think of all the answers in my life, I would have to say,

There's no doubt it was always for the best,

When I didn't get my way.

Grandpa got older, like grandpas do,

His health was failing, and I guess I knew,

It'd be best if he was called on home,

but selfishly I prayed that God would keep him hanging on,

And when he passed away, in my mind I heard him say.

Make no mistake, every prayer you pray,

gets answered, even though,

sometimes, the answer is no.

Sometimes, the answer,

is no.

So, as the song was playing I could feel it in my heart that this song was not gonna be a good one, and I was right when it got to the end, I could literally feel my heart being yanked out of my chest, and I started bawling…driving…crying….driving…tears streaming down my face.

Anyone that has been reading my blog for any length of time know how close I am to my Poppa and Granny.  Granny is still with us today, as spunky as ever, but we lost Poppa in 1997. My parents divorced when I was around 5 and my little sister Jacqui was 2 or 3.  Our Mum and us two girls moved in with Poppa and Granny, and I always tell people that Poppa was like a Dad, but really he WAS my Dad, he gave me away at my wedding even.  I basically lived with Poppa and Granny all my childhood and teenage life.  Mum remarried when I was in highschool, and so obviously we moved out of Poppa and Granny's house and into the Fox home with Mum and our new Dad, as a normal teenager and set in my ways, this was extremely hard for me, and well I couldn't handle the change and left the Fox home to move back in with Poppa and Granny and stayed there until I met Jeff and we got married in 1984.

So when the song gets to the end, it just brought back a flood of memories.  My girlfriend Teri and I had gone back home to see Poppa and Granny, and as we were leaving and I watched them through the plane windows sitting in the airport lobby I knew I would never see Poppa again.

I can't remember how long it was after, a month or so maybe, but I got a call telling me that Poppa was not doing well and I needed to get home, I talked to him on the phone telling him how much I loved him and I was coming home, he was too weak to talk.  So I got my plane ticket, and I prayed and prayed "please God let me get there in time to say goodbye" At around 1am the morning that I was to leave the phone rang in the middle of the night, and I just knew it, and Jeff answered it and all he said was just a few words and he hung up the phone, and Jeff took me in his arms..that was it,  Poppa was gone.  I have never cried so hard or loud in my life, right now I can barely see the monitor to type and perhaps I'll get electrocuted as my tears fall into the keyboard…

…so I just had to share my drive home tonight with you all, my friends.  Kiss and love your family, this is Thanksgiving in Canada, be thankful for all the love ones near you, and the ones that are no longer here, they live in us, and I talk to Poppa every day.

Here's a couple pictures, I would like to share with you.  I swear Poppa looked the same forever, he was always almost bald, he just seemed to lose so much hair and then it was like it stopped falling out…in fact he said "God only made so many perfect heads, the rest he covered with hair".

Poppa, Diana and Jacqui
This is Poppa, I am in the center and Jacqui is on the end.

Last picture of Poppa
Here is the last picture I took of Poppa on our last visit, we went for a drive, and I have video tape of our trip, and I still can't watch it cause I remember knowing that Poppa knew he was looking at things for the last time, you could see it as he watched things we stopped to see.  This picture is beautiful to me, I look in his eyes, and it's like he is still here. But if you look to the right, it is just the mirror on the wall and my flash going off as I took the picture, but you can see Poppa's back in the mirror, and it is like he is going towards the light. Poppa my angel, I love you.

Ok enough of me for today.  Thanks for listening.

Have a blessed Sunday, and thanks for stopping in!

Signature for blog

21 Comments

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Comments

  1. Barbara Dykhouse says

    October 11, 2009 at 5:11 am

    Thanks so much for sharing your memories of Poppa, Di! I have tears in my eyes as I think of my loved ones who have gone on ahead to their heavenly home. I'll be sure to pick up that Brad Paisley CD, too. I think when God's answer is no, we are challenged to grow in unbelievable ways.

    Blessings,
    Barbara

    Reply
  2. Linda Watts says

    October 11, 2009 at 5:13 am

    I can relate to your loss and being sad over memories you won't get to make more of. Knowing that you were lucky to have had such a special person as part of your life doesn't make it any easier to be without them. BIG HUGS to you.

    Reply
  3. Diana says

    October 11, 2009 at 6:09 am

    Oh my God, seriously did you need to make me cry this early in the morning? You know he is heaven smiling down on you now. God Bless all the Poppa's and Granny's out there.

    Reply
  4. Terry Molineux says

    October 11, 2009 at 6:28 am

    OMGosh Diana you have be bawling….I may get electrocuted along with you. What a loving story. You are so lucky to have those memories. Cherish them you lucky girl!!!

    Reply
  5. Sue says

    October 11, 2009 at 7:11 am

    Thanks for sharing such a beautiful personal story with us, Di. It is so important to share your feelings with people, but sometimes it is difficult for people to do that. A tender reminder like this may just be what some need to let out their innermost feelings to be able to tell those they love that they really do love them. Have a blessed week.

    Reply
  6. Charmaine says

    October 11, 2009 at 7:33 am

    Wow…that was a pretty powerful post Di…I am in tears. Thanks for sharing the song and part of yourself with us today.

    Charmaine

    Reply
  7. Jacqui says

    October 11, 2009 at 7:35 am

    Well I wasn't expecting this when I went all cheery on your blog to read your entry this morning. Now I'm sitting here crying. That was a beautiful write up.
    I am going to see Granny today. We are heading up to Mom's for Thanksgiving Dinner – If I have enough ink in my printer I will print this one off and let her read it. And now I have to buy Brad Paisley's new CD!!
    We were blessed to have Poppa and Granny in our lives. We are the way we are because of them…..you can come to your own conclusions on that one!!!
    Have a good turkey day today – even though I know you guys don't celebrate it until later.
    Luv you
    Jax

    Reply
  8. Shana Heeg says

    October 11, 2009 at 8:32 am

    Wow, excuse me while I grab a Kleenex. Thanks for making me cry, by the way. That picture is so cool, how it looks like he's going towards the light. You were/are lucky to have your grandpa and he was lucky to have you.

    Reply
  9. Gladys Rienks says

    October 11, 2009 at 1:18 pm

    Di,

    Yup…you bought a tear to my eyes too. I always tell my family and friends I love them before saying goodbye. I think it's extremely important. You just never know. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

    Gladys

    Reply
  10. Connie M says

    October 11, 2009 at 1:32 pm

    What a moving post and what a blessing to have had him in your life.
    ( Your last photograph reminded me of the one I took with my parents two weeks before my mom passed away. )

    Reply
  11. Barbra says

    October 11, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    Di, I understand completely how you feel. We just lost our Dad this past July. I miss him so much sometimes I just can't even sleep thinking about him. We were so lucky to have such loving and wonderful men in our lives.

    xoxo

    Will's Mom

    Reply
  12. Janet says

    October 11, 2009 at 5:00 pm

    I don't even know what to say; I can't see to send this because I've been bawling while and ever since I read this….. I'm not going to go into my story, but at least you have a few more saved memories than I do to share. I miss my parents/grandparents more than anyone could ever imagine….. you said everything so eloquently, I feel like you said it for me. What a beautiful tribute!!! I'm sorry for your loss and mine as well as I'm sure most of our readers are as well. thank you for that.

    Reply
  13. Tina Joergens says

    October 11, 2009 at 6:01 pm

    I'm sorry for your heartache, but thanks for reminding me that our prayers are always answered for the best. It may not be what we thought we needed. It was good that I was reminded of that right now.

    Reply
  14. Anita says

    October 11, 2009 at 9:35 pm

    TFS! I had not heard this song before. I love it and it brought tears to my eyes. I was close with both my grandparents too and both are in heaven.

    Reply
  15. Julia says

    October 11, 2009 at 11:31 pm

    Oh Di, I'm totally crying right now. I'm so sorry that your Poppa is not with you right now. But I'm sure he is there in spirit with his arms around you.
    Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

    Reply
  16. Becky Jo says

    October 12, 2009 at 2:48 am

    Just received this post in today's email. You sure cleared out my sinuses! I, too, wonder what tears do to the keyboard – so far, so good because I'm still typing. TFS your story. Brought back many memories of my grandparents (they were like my Mom and Dad, too!) You are lucky to have such good memories. They say time heals, but I don't believe that. I miss my grandmother and grandfather as much today as I did when they passed many years ago. Big Hugs!!

    Reply
  17. Ree Donnelly says

    October 12, 2009 at 5:56 am

    Wow, Di… what a beautiful post. I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face.
    Well, you really made me think.
    And I'm gonna copy the words to the Brad Paisley song & send them to my sister. Neither one of us listens to country, so she'd never get to hear these lyrics.
    Just beautiful! Thank you, Di. {warm hugs}

    Reply
  18. Amy says

    October 12, 2009 at 8:57 am

    Diana-
    What a great story! I check your blog every day while I am at work on break, and now I am a mess at my desk!! My husband just lost his Grandpa 2 weeks ago, so this one hit home. I am fortunate to still have my grandparents with me, but I know it won't be forever.
    Thanks for sharing a piece of you as well as all of your creative talent with all of us!!

    Amy

    Reply
  19. Diana Gibbs says

    October 12, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    Barbra,I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. We have to have faith that we have angels looking out for us now. Sending big hugs to you and Will. How is your little man?Hugs,Di

    Reply
  20. Diana Gibbs says

    October 12, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    Hi,Thanks for all the kind words, and all the personal stories too, sorry to make you cry, but I am glad I was able to share with you all. Hugs, Di

    Reply
  21. Yvonne Metz says

    October 15, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    I have to agree with the others! Awesome Post! TFS! Also LOVE Brad Paisley…just saw him in Irvine, Ca. 10/3/09 with my Daughter..AWESOME!!!

    Reply

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Hi, my name is Diana Gibbs and I have been a Stampin' Up! Demonstrator since 1999. I never imagined getting up and talking to people, I am deaf (I wear hearing aids) so talking to strangers has never been a fun thing for me. But put a rubber stamp in my hand and I will talk to anyone.

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